Hello, I Must Be Going: Groucho and His Friends

1978, 1979 Penguin edition
Charlotte Chandler
Hello, I Must Be Going: Groucho and His Friends
Original price $4.95, purchase price unknown
Very worn paperback, contains a sentimental message from my aunt, for my sixteenth birthday
C+

There are several problems with this long, rambling book.  One is that Chandler deliberately didn't edit things down, so that there are many redundancies, not just in stories being retold, often with little or no variation (Groucho's punchline about the horse who wanted his autograph being an exception), but in her relaying information repeatedly.  I understand that she was trying to show what Groucho's life was like in his 80s, but a shorter, tighter book would've been an improvement.

Also, if I liked Groucho less after reading his son's biography, I definitely like him less after reading Chandler's.  Groucho comes across as even more sexist, despite his claims that his beloved mother would've been a feminist.  That anecdote about him not wanting to date the over-the-hill 40-year-old?  Well, it turns out he said it at a dinner where all his friends' wives were older than the lady in question.  And he seems to think it was some sort of accomplishment that he and his brothers (not just Chico) "humped" as many girls as they could, once while wearing matching shirts with one girl in the dark.  (I've heard other men tell similar stories, so it might not even be true.)  He was also homophobic.  Yes, admittedly he made fun of everyone and everything, but in this book he brings in slurs against gay men (and occasionally lesbians) out of nowhere, while criticizing friends who tell ethnic jokes.

Chandler deliberately didn't take sides in the court battle between Arthur Marx and Groucho's "companion" (secretary/manager/girlfriend-without-benefits-for-the-impotent-octagenarian) Erin Fleming, but even in this book there is evidence that Fleming committed elder abuse, no matter if Chandler thinks Groucho enjoyed Fleming's temper because it made him feel "alive."  (Fleming apparently had mental health issues, and she committed suicide in 2003.)

All that said, there are moments when the book works, as when Chandler provides an eyewitness account of the "Animal Crackers riot," part of the enthusiastic reception to the movie's release.  I liked learning that (according to son Billy anyway) Harpo's favorite of their films was Duck Soup, something I've never seen elsewhere.  As the subtitle suggests, Groucho had a wide array of friends, from George Jessel to Bud Cort, and there are some nice scenes (much of the book is in dialogue, like a marathon play) showing Groucho interacting with them.

He died the year before this book came out, suspecting he wouldn't live to see it published.  Brother Gummo had died a few months before, and Zeppo was the last to go, in 1979.  Ironically, what this book offers that no other book I own does is glimpses of the two straight men in the team of comedians.  Gummo tells us his friends think that he's the funniest offstage, then he agrees with everyone else interviewed that Zeppo is.  Maybe Chandler should've written a book about Gummo and Zeppo instead.

By Myself

1978, 1980 Ballantine edition
Lauren Bacall
By Myself
Original price $2.75, purchase price unknown
Very worn paperback
B-

I wanted to give this book a B, but I had a couple issues with it.  One, Bacall seems too forgiving of Bogie, who put her through a lot of pain, particularly before they married.  Yes, he was deeply unhappy but she excuses his drinking and cheating (with her, on his third wife) too easily.  The other problem I have is that she rushes through the two decades after Bogart's death, and in fact the book seems to only go up to about 1974.  She updated this autobiography in 2006, but apparently added only 80 pages to cover the additional almost thirty years.  If she wants to be thought of as more than Bogie's widow, then why doesn't she discuss her movies more?  (She seems to care more about her stage roles.)  She spends very little time on her difficult marriage with Jason Robards, and towards the end she mentions an affair with a married Brit in just a couple sentences.  So the book is uneven. 

Similarly, she tells of her admiration for Adlai Stevenson, then makes no mention of his 1956 campaign.  (In fairness, she was then consumed by Bogart's last illness, but you'd think she'd at least say something.)  She says she admired JFK, but we only learn this in the section on RFK's assassination.

On the plus side, she does share her feelings and insecurities, and it's interesting to read of the various friends she had, famous and not.  (Sinatra, whom she almost married, comes across as more complex and more flawed than he does in Rosalind Russell's autobiography.)  Her closeness to her mother, uncles, and children is clear, although I felt that her older son's complaint that they didn't get enough of her attention is not entirely unjustified.

The book is 500 pages, so it may sound strange that I think it could've been improved by fleshing out the second half.  She's a good writer, but I get the sense that she just doesn't like to think about the years after she lost her beloved first husband, particularly after she lost her mother as well.  It's not easy for her to be by herself.

The Official Smart Kids/ Dumb Parents Joke Book

1977, Pinnacle edition from later that year
Larry Wilde
Illustrations by Ron Wing
The Official Smart Kids/ Dumb Parents Joke Book
Bought new for $1.25
Very worn paperback with stains
C-

Wilde collects lots of corny jokes, not even necessarily about kids or parents.  The book is "two in one," in that you flip over the "kid" side and then read the "parent" side, or vice versa.  The illustrations are kind of ugly.  I'd give the book an even lower grade but I did like the knock-knock jokes and "Little Willies" (sort of sick rhymes from the Victorian era).  I don't remember what I thought of the sexism (especially about women drivers) in my preteens, but I do know I didn't quite get the suggestive jokes.  The one that stayed with me all these years is a variation on this one:
http://www.jokedujour.com/archive/kidS10.htm

Wilde also published ethnic joke books, such as "The Official Polish/ Italian Joke Book."  He's still around, as a motivational speaker among other professions, and his website is http://www.larrywilde.com/ if you're curious.

The Book of Lists

1977, 1978 Bantam edition
David Wallechinksy, Irving Wallace, and Amy Wallace
The Book of Lists
Original and purchase price both $2.50
Very worn paperback
C+

The Wallace/Wallechinsky family offer over 500 pages of lists on various topics.  I didn't care about, for instance, sports so although there's some interesting information and opinion, the book does wear thin by the end.  (However, the last page is a picture of Franz Liszt, a joke I didn't get as a child.)  Many of the lists are of course dated, but I found those to therefore be the most interesting, like O. J. Simpson as the top hero in a Ladies' Home Journal poll of children and teens.  And it's funny that Liz Taylor was then two husbands short of making the most-spouses list.  The Longest-Running National TV Series list is still topped by Meet the Press though (now 63 years rather than 29).  The best of the lists are probably the "most unusual" problems ever sent to Dear Abby and Anne Landers.

This isn't my childhood copy (I seem to have read that in my preteens, even the "sex" chapter), but one I picked up in my mid 20s.  I also own the second and third books of lists, so we'll see how those compare to this one.

Alexander Botts

1977, possibly first edition, from the Curtis Publishing Company
William Hazlett Upson
Alexander Botts
Original and purchase price unknown
Worn hardcover, with my writing of some of the dates on Table of Contents
C+

These short stories were originally published in The Saturday Evening Post, over the course of almost half a century.  Upson's style, deliberately stilted and understated to reflect Botts's personality, doesn't really change.  In fact, the stories are pretty formulaic.  Botts tries to sell someone a tractor or maybe a dozen, mishaps and misunderstandings ensue, he sometimes ends up in the hospital or jail, but everything works out OK, while his boss Henderson frets and scolds, sometimes by telegram.  And in several of the stories, businessmen are named George, perhaps in tribute to Babbitt, conscious or not.  I find this collection pleasant but not too memorable, although this time it was amusing to see a corporation called "Metallica."  (The heavy metal band formed in '81, probably not inspired by Upson.)

There are some generally topical references, from World War I to "the younger generation," and it's funny to see how Communists are presented in the 1930s and then the 1950s.  Botts and his wife "Gadget" age over the years, but he doesn't really act like an 82-year-old in the story set in '74, even though he reminisces about a vacation with an uncle in 1904.

In 1936, Warner Bros released a movie, called Earthworm Tractors after the company Botts works for.  I've never seen it, but it stars Joe E. Brown as Botts.

Earthly Possessions

1977, 1997 Vintage edition
Anne Tyler
Earthly Possessions
Original price unknown, purchase price 79 cents
Worn paperback
B-

This is the first of the Tyler novels I own that is entirely in first person, which is part of its appeal.  Charlotte Emory tells of her strange but quiet life, as "surprise" daughter of the fattest woman in town, as agnostic wife of a preacher, as "temporary" photographer for over 15 years, and as kidnap victim.  The title refers to her wish to rid herself of all belongings, so she can finally run away, but her experiences on the run with a bank robber, and eventually his pregnant teenaged girlfriend, help her appreciate her life.  She's not exactly a sympathetic character, particularly when she tries to be indifferent to her own children, but I find her entertaining.  The book ties with The Clock Winder as Tyler's best so far.

There are echoes of earlier books, as with the wife who manages a sprawling household of relatives and strangers, and the man who likes to make miniatures, both echoing Celestial Navigation, but I felt they were better done here, and even the mismatched spouses (recalling not only Celestial but Slipping-Down) didn't bother me as much as in the past, since the focus isn't really on the marriage anyway.  What I liked least was the character of Jake, the bank robber.  When he tries to show that he's not such a bad guy, he comes across as even more of a jerk, and I can't tell whether or not this is deliberate.  I kept being annoyed when Charlotte would stop telling us her past and go back to relating the story of life on the run.

There's a line on the last page about why Charlotte tells her husband she no longer wants a vacation:  "We have been traveling for years, traveled all our lives, we are traveling still."  Her point is that life is a journey, even if you stay in the same physical place.  This contradicts the message of Celestial Navigation, where being afraid to leave the house is related to being afraid of change.  And it'll be interesting to see how this compares to the image of travel in The Accidental Tourist.  But before we get to that in 1985, I've got a couple other Tyler novels to review....

Ceremony

1977, 1986 Penguin edition
Leslie Marmon Silko
Ceremony
Original price $3.95, purchase price unknown
Worn paperback with notes and highlighting by previous owner
D+

This book was assigned to me in college 25 years ago, and at the time I thought it was one of the better works we read, although challenging.  So I kept it, not that I would've got much back for it at the campus bookstore, not when so heavily marked up by the last student who read it.  I may've read it once since then, but it's generally a book I avoided because I just never felt up to it.

Reading it now, I was alternately bored, repulsed, and irritated, and occasionally pleased by lovely descriptions, usually of nature.  Rather than ranting on and on, like I did with another D+, The Golden Notebook, I'll just give you a brief summary of the book:

"Tayo was an illegitimate half-breed, so his aunt hated him, especially after he failed to protect her son during World War II.  So he came home from the war and drank a lot and the Bomb was tested and he was tested by adversity, and he looked for cattle and found them, and also the love of a good woman, and the traditions of his people.  And meanwhile he and all his friends pissed and barfed and fought and joked and bragged about having sex with blondes.  Oo, look at the way the sunset hits the sandstone!  All white people are evil.  The end."