Book the Thirteenth: The End

2006, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Thirteenth: The End
Bought new for $12.99
Hardcover in good condition
B-

And so it ends.  Not with alliteration, not with all the mysteries solved, not with a bang.  The once over-the-top satiric series has morphed into a philosophical question, so that among the references to Erewhon, Caliban, and the like, it seems like there should be a mention of Utopia.  In the mid-aughts, my book collection is full of war, invasion, fear, paranoia, betrayal, and abandonment.  Yet here the Baudelaires ponder whether it's better to be protected or to be informed.  Not coincidentally, a benign snake offers them bitter apples that save their lives.

I miss what the series was, but all things considered, and with over seven years' hindsight, I'm OK with this ending.

The Penultimate Peril

2005, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Twelfth: The Penultimate Peril
Original price $11.99, purchase price $4.80
Hardcover in good condition
B-

Well, at least Olaf drops his annoying laugh.  Here in the, yes, next to last book, there are still many loose ends, and I'm not really sure what the point is in having so many of the earlier characters show up in The Hotel Denouement, but hey, at least Snicket continues to expand kids' vocabularies.  I didn't notice any sexual humor this time, but he does make it clear that the Squalors are still married, and that Kit Snicket (Lemony's sister) is pregnant and probably unmarried.  He also continues the questioning of good and evil, with the Baudelaires accidentally killing someone!  For a satiric series aimed at preteens, this is pretty heavy stuff.

The Grim Grotto

2004, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Eleventh: The Grim Grotto
Original price $11.99, purchase price $4.80
Worn hardcover
C+

This entry introduces a perhaps temporary love interest for Klaus (Fiona, who in her triangular glasses looks suspiciously like Petra in the Helquist-illustrated Chasing Vermeer [2005] by Blue Balliett).  Also, it has a discussion that I suspect is a parody of Sirius Black saying the world isn't divided into good people and Death Eaters, in this case comparing them to mixed salads.  And it has Sunny saying "procto" to mean "the other end."  But it also has three running jokes that, while perhaps meant to be annoying, are nonetheless annoying: Olaf's new evil laugh, Fiona's stepfather's overuse of the word "Aye," and the narrator's long-winded discussion of the water cycle.  So we've got the weakest book in the series so far, with two more books for Snicket to bounce back in. 

The Slippery Slope

2003, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Tenth: The Slippery Slope
Bought new for $10.99
Hardcover in good condition
B

Despite the title and the overall slow decline of the series, I found this to be the best entry in awhile.  It helps that we meet the third Quagmire Triplet, Quigley.  He befriends the elder Baudelaires and seems to be a love interest for Violet.  (Like Rowling with Harry's first kiss, Snicket gives Violet some alone-time with Quigley, although he's much more ostentatious about it, a word that here means calling attention to his discretion.)  I also enjoyed the several-times-repeated alphabetical list of Snow Scout pledges, with "xylophone" the "adjective" for X.  And I actually laughed out loud, partly in surprise, at "'Busheney,' Sunny said, which meant something along the lines of, 'You're an evil man with no concern whatsoever for other people.'"  (Hint, think of who the President and VP were then.)  Most of all, I felt like all the hints were finally adding up to something.

Nonetheless, I didn't own #11 or #12 till yesterday, although I did check them out from the library at the time.

The Carnivorous Carnival

2002, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Ninth: The Carnivorous Carnival
Original price $10.99, purchase price $4.80
Hardcover in good condition
B-

While better than the autobiography, this entry is still not Snicket at the top of his game.  I did like the discussion of whether evil acts, like lying, are evil if they're done by good people for good reasons.  But at this point, I think it was wrong to have the Baudelaires be rootless wanderers.  When they were with guardians who were supposed to take care of them in one place, no matter how much the guardians failed at this, it rooted not just the siblings but the story.  In this one, there's no reason for them to stick around the carnival (more of a circus really), except to eavesdrop.  And, yes, I don't find myself laughing out loud at the humor anymore.  The series is still better than a lot of other children's series, but it's not living up to its initial promise.  Snicket does top himself with his most outrageous sex joke so far: under a discussion of French terms, he has "'la petite mort,' which describes a feeling that part of you has died."  Since he's mainly discussing de ja vu, this allows him to repeat the joke three times!  (At least when Ruth Plumly Thompson did this stuff, there was a chance she didn't realize what she was saying.)

The best illustration this time is definitely Esme's gown with the "I [heart] Freaks" banner.

Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

2002, undated later edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography
Original price unknown, purchase price $4.00
Paperback in good condition
C+

Although Snicket does a better job with tweaking biographical conventions than Eggers did in A Heartbreaking Work, I found this much less focused than the books in the Series of Unfortunate Events.  There are of course clues to that series here, as well as affectionate jokes about such other juvenile fiction authors as Wilder and Cleary, but I didn't feel like Snicket brought it all together.  Oh, and continuing the sneaky sex humor of his earlier books, there's here a repeat of the joke from I think #6 or #7 about the Church of the Alleged Virgin.  No Helquist illustrations this time, but there are an assortment of odd photos, seemingly from the late 1800s to the mid 1900s.  Since this is the paperback edition, it doesn't have the reversible cover that the hardback apparently came with. 

In the past three months, my reading stats have continued to climb, so thanks, Everybody!  One hundred books ago, I had

1 F
4 F+s
2 D-s
5 D's
13 D+s
23 C-s
47 C's
170 C+s
294 B-s
183 B's
50 B+s
8 A-s

Since then I've had to add a D- and two D+s, although no D's.  There are three new C-s, one new C, and nineteen new C+s.  As usual, close to half the new books were B-s, this time 44.  There are 24 more B's, five more B+s, and even another A-.

The Hostile Hospital

2001, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Eighth: The Hostile Hospital
Original and/or purchase price unknown
Hardcover in good condition
B

Things pick up in this installment, surprisingly thanks to an apparently re-inspired Helquist.  From the smiley-face (not just heart-shaped, as in the text) balloons to the guitar that says, ala Guthrie, "This volunteer fights disease," there are great details.  As for the story, the Baudelaires try to find out more about their parents' deaths (although there may be a survivor of that fire), as they not only elude pursuit for the count's uncommitted murder, but work as file clerks in the hospital of the title.  And following the previous book's anacrostic, we this time get an anagram, suggested by the name "Ana Gram."

I wonder if Snicket realized he was cranking these out too fast and it was hard to maintain a high quality.  (It's still a better series than His Dark Materials of course.)  He slowed down in 2002, so we'll just have Book the Ninth and his "unauthorized autobiography."

The Vile Village

2001, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Seventh: The Vile Village
Original price $11.99, purchase price $4.80
Hardcover in good condition
B-

Snicket again teases the Baudelaires (and the readers) with a brief reunion with the Quagmires, but mostly this story is about the main unlucky siblings having to work for an entire village (in a deliberate misinterpretation of the Hillary-adopted "It takes a village to raise a child" slogan), and then being accused of the murder of Count Omar [sic], when Jacques Snicket is killed.  In this middle of what would eventually be a thirteen-book series (each of which has thirteen chapters), the hints are piling up.  That the village goes by the initials V.F.D. is significant, or is it?  Isadora Quagmire's anacrostic couplet allows for some clue-solving within the book.  The illustrations, with their emphasis on the village's crows, are probably the dullest ever.

The Ersatz Elevator

2001, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Sixth: The Ersatz Elevator
Original price $10.99, purchase price $4.00
Hardcover in good condition
B-

Another slip in quality, although this does introduce Olaf's married girlfriend Esme Squalor.  Yes, adultery in a children's book, but that wasn't really the problem I had with it.  I just felt like here, almost mid-series, things aren't that fresh or funny anymore.  With the first two books, I was constantly caught off guard by Snicket's turns of phrase.  Also, the two (yes, two) Quagmire triplets show up (after their introduction in the previous book) only to drop hints and then get re-kidnapped.  Still, there's enough cleverness and wordplay (Esme's name is a Salinger reference), as well as absurdity, including Sunny climbing down an elevator using her teeth, to keep things interesting.  No real memorable illustrations this time, although I like the design of the "In Boutique" bags.

ETA: Having since acquired and reread The Austere Academy, the fifth book, I have to say that the real slip began there, as it would also have earned a B-.

The Miserable Mill

2000, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Fourth: The Miserable Mill
Original and/or purchase price unknown
Hardcover in good condition
B

Although this is still a solid entry in the series, there is a drop in quality.  It's partly that I didn't think the setting was as interesting, and partly that I didn't like the thread of Klaus being hypnotized to cause accidents.  Also, Olaf doesn't show up until pretty far into the book, and I have mixed feelings about him disguising himself as a woman.  Not to be overly p.c., but I was already bothered by the character who's not clearly a man or a woman.  I'm not saying Snicket is homophobic, or transphobic, but there is a tradition (even in children's literature) of androgyny being evil.  (Like albinos being evil.)  It doesn't bother me a lot, no more than I'm bothered by the fatness of Vernon and Dudley Dursley, but I am conscious of it.

As for Helquist, he of course really plays up the "eye" theme, which is stronger than ever here.  I kept wondering if there were Great Gatsby connections.  It is significant that the optometrist is named Georgina Orwell, which connects to the "watching" motif.

I'm missing The Austere Academy, so we'll jump ahead to #6, The Ersatz Elevator in 2001.

The Wide Window

2000, first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Third: The Wide Window
Hardcover in good condition
B+

This time the children stay with paranoid and grammar-obsessed "Aunt" Josephine in a cliff-top house (yes, with a wide window) on the edge of Lake Lachrymose, one of my favorite settings in the series.  As the children realize, Josephine isn't a very good guardian, although she's of course better than Count Olaf.  The best thing in the book is probably the "suicide note" that's actually a clue.  Helquist's best illustration is probably of the children sitting on Damocles Dock, with a sword hanging over Violet.

When the movie came out, the first three books were mashed together in a way that didn't quite work.  I didn't care for Jim Carrey as Count Olaf but otherwise the casting was good, and I did like the look of the film.

The Reptile Room

1999, possibly first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the Second: The Reptile Room
Hardcover in good condition
B+

This is just as clever as the first book, with lines like "Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginia Wolfsnake near a typewriter."  And when Mr. Poe (the children's dim-witted "protector") panics, he calls out to not only several deities, but Nathaniel Hawthorne.  Snicket even gets away with filling over a page with just the word "ever" repeated again and again.  Helquist's illustrations aren't quite as memorable, although the snake topiary is good.  

The first book set up the situation, with the children becoming orphans and meeting Count Olaf.  In this first sequel, they have a much kinder distant relative to stay with, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, but Snicket observes that their happiness won't last long, and indeed it doesn't.  

The Bad Beginning

1999, possibly first edition, from HarperCollins
Lemony Snicket
Illustrated by Brett Helquist
A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book the First: The Bad Beginning
Box set of three books bought used for $14.40
Hardcover in good condition
B+

Nice as it is to revisit the Harry Potter series, I have to admit that this series starts off with a bigger bang.  Both the pseudonymous Snicket and his soon-to-be regular illustrator Helquist have a sly wit like nothing else in children's literature.  My earlier copy of this first book was something I picked up to read in a bookstore while waiting for my then-boyfriend.  He was so late that I made him buy the book for me (for $4.50), since I'd already fallen in love with what I'd read so far.  Snicket offers a mix of modernity and Victoriana, lace and fax machines, that's not steampunk but was as just as fresh yet classic when I first encountered it at the end of the '90s.  (And I wasn't yet a Harry Potter reader, so there were no comparisons for a long time.)  I do think the series declined later, so I was surprised at how well the first book has aged, still making me laugh out loud.  The funniest and cleverest illustration is easily the "eye" one for Chapter Eleven, including Daliesque "melting" eyes instead of watches.

Fourteen years ago, I thought the series would be too satirical for kids, but actually the children I've talked to who've read it (several dozen over the years) really enjoy it, even if they don't get every joke.  Heck, neither did I at first.  (Like the Von Bulow reference in Klaus [sic] and Sunny's names.)  I also like that Snicket goes somewhat against gender stereotypes, by making oldest sibling Violet an inventor.  (Another positive female figure in recent children's literature that Susan J. Douglas would overlook, without Hermione Granger's excuse of being British.)

As the series went on, and I was checking out books from the library more, I owned less than half of this series (six books out of thirteen).  My copy of #2 was very, very worn (bought used) and I didn't have #3, but I had such fun with #1 this time, that I got the box set.  I prefer to buy books used rather than new, so I don't know if I'll complete the set but I'll see if I can fill in some of the other gaps as we go along.